The Results of the 20 lb WRC! Week 1, Day 3 of the KWC!

I set myself an ambitious goal to lose 20 lbs in 7 days so that I wouldn't be able to fuck up. I didn't log my food on two of the days, because I was playing tennis and video games with my cousin and other things, but 4 of the 5 days I did log my food, I did well. I averaged 633.2 calories on those 5 days which is okay. If It weren't for that one day, it would be significantly lower. Oh well. I exercised every day, doing aerobic step-ups, the killer workout challenge, tennis, and walking.

Now for the moment we've all been waiting for(at least I have!) I weighed in today at exactly 267lbs. So I lost 13lbs in 7 days. I know I was aiming for 20, but I'm okay with 13. I'm assuming half of that if not more is water weight, because how can someone lose that much in a week? Either way, I need to lose more,

I have two days before the birthday party, 3 if you count today. Since I may have to eat food, hopefully I can get out of it, but if not, I've decided to fast for 72 hours. So far, I am 19 hours and 40 minutes in(7-13-11, 7:40pm.) That's for refrence for me later.

I've yet to do week 1, day 3 of the Killer Workout Challenge. It consists of 250 jumping jacks, 40 crunches, 40 squats, and 4 push-ups. When I'm done with this entry, I'll do it.

I'm getting anxious for Reno and the day before it. How can I lose weight eating my grandmothers cooking? She'll probably make spaghetti or shredded beef tacos. If she makes spaghetti, I'll skip the rolls and eat tons of whatever vegetable will be there, probably broccoli, with no salt or butter of course! The tacos on the other hand... I might just put a miniscule amount of meat on a miniature tortilla and put loads of lettuce, no cheese. If I have one, I hope they don't get suspicious. I'll tell them I'm losing weight. If my mother asks me, maybe she'll think one is enough? Thinking back to when I was little, I would have 2 tacos. As I got older, I would have 3, then, 4, and then 5! No wonder I got so lardy!

Anyways, I'll weigh myself right before I leave and make it my goal to maintain that weight over vacation. Then I'll lose tons when I get back.

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I'm just replying to a comment I got, because I stupidly can't figure out how to leave comments. >.<

The comment was: Felix said...

You really think eating 200 calories in a day is "the healthy way"? And your mom agrees?

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        Dear Felix,
                I know it's too few calories, but I am eating healthy as far as food in general goes. My mother believes I am eating more than I am(1200-1500 calories each day.) It's just that dieting regularly never worked for me and the results were to slow, aka, 1 lb in a week is not a good loss for someone of my size. If I'm not losing at least, and I mean at the very LEAST 3 lbs each week, I'm not happy.

So to answer your questions, I don't think 200 calories in a day is "the healthy way" and my mother doesn't know, therefore doesn't agree.



~Raven

Day 7/7 of the 20 lb WRC! Week 1, Day 2 of the Killer Workout Challenge!

Today was the last day of the 20 lb Weight Reversal Challenge and I sadly don't feel that I've lost 20lbs this week. I guess I'll see tomorrow morning, err this morning, later... It's 1:30am and I haven't slept yet, so I'll weigh in whenever the heck I wake up!
I averaged 564 calories each day this week which is good. It would have been a million times lower, but I stayed at my cousin's house for 4 days. He has an amazing metabolism and eats out maybe twice a day and although I got out of eating with him in those 4 days, on the last day at his house, I couldn't get out of going to Baskin Robbins. I figured what I got would be 700-800 calories and that since I had only had a glass of pulp free orange juice that day, it wouldn't be the end of the world. It wasn't 700-800 calories...It was double at 1,430 fucking calories! Suffice to say, it was the end of the world and I am just starting to get over it. A word to the wise, NEVER under any circumstances get Baskin Robbins!
My friend on Facebook, Edsurreal came up with a 4 week workout plan and I am naming it: The Killer Workout Challenge. I did the first day, which consisted of 333 jumping jacks, 60 crunches, 60 squats, and 6 push ups. Let me tell you it was hell. Day 2 is 300 jumping jacks, 50 crunches, 50 squats, and 5 push ups, a little easier than day 1, but still difficult. It's the jumping jacks, doing 100 jumping jacks without stopping is hard enough, but doing 300 is another story. I know how hard it is, so I've already completed the squats and push ups for day 2. I'll do the crunches when I wake up and the jumping jacks half an hour after I take my diet pills(they have caffeine.)
I have a birthday party to attend on the 16th and am starting to freak. What if they force feed me cake or something? Well, I could bend the truth a little and say I'm trying to eat more healthily. That's what I'll do. But, I'm going to my grandparents's house on the 17th and am leaving to Reno on the 18th as well and I don't know what I'm going to do. The good thing is there's an exercise room and the pool at the Nugget is amazing, it has a waterfall, is huge, is heated, and there's a jucuzzi(spell?) which means I can burn loads of calories by swimming and utilizing equipment I don't have at home. The bad news is, there will be a lot of temptation there and I can't bring my own vegetables and things. I may bring an apple or two though and try to stick with black coffee from Starbucks. I think that I'll have to eat out at least once there, because we have to do everything as a family blah blah blah and my mother may inform them I'm dieting again and to watch me.
Pretty girls are made of coffee, smokes, and cold diet cokes.

~Raven

Just another update.

I talked to my mother about losing weight the healthy way and she supports me. Her exact words were, "If you want to lose weight, that's great, but if I think for 1 second you have eating issues again, you're going to have your computer, cell phone, and treadmill taken away."

I agreed with her, but I don't know how well I can hide it. I have broccoli, carrots, and sugar snap peas steaming on the stove as I write this and that's dinner. Half for my mother and half for me. That's only 40 calories a piece, but I'm putting seasoning and butter on hers, plain for me. I know I won't eat all of mine, so todays intake will be 1.5 plums, 8 oz of juice, 2 diet pills, and 1/4 of a bag of Eating Right Broccoli Stir Fry. 195 calories, 46 carbs, 0 grams of fat, 40 miligrams of sodium, and 40 grams of sugar. Not too shabby.

I still haven't weighed myself, but am weighing in on the morning of this Wednesday. Tuesday is my last day of the 20 lb Weight Reversal Challenge and I'm kind of nervous. I mean is it even possible to lose 20 lbs in 7 days without doing some major exercise? The Biggest Loser does it, but I'm not sure if normal obese people can. I guess we'll see. I'm really hoping I make it and if not than I hope I've lost at least 10 lbs.

I'm going to go eat dinner and then go to bed. goodnight everyone!

~Raven

Day 1/7 of the 20 lb Weight Reversal Challenge!

One of my ana friends on Facebook came up with the name for me. I was successful today, but I feel like I should have exercised more.

Totals	252	51	1	205	32	0
Daily Goal	500	80	3	1,500	116	0
Remaining	328	29	2	1,295	84	0
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Sodium	Sugar	Trans Fat

I did pretty good food wise, but did have 8 oz of low cal Gatorade. Oh well. I burned 80.2 calories on the treadmill in 15 minutes and 12 seconds. I don't mind walking or anything, but it's so boring and repetitive. I wish I could have gotten an ellyptical. I'll get one as soon as I can afford it.

My goals for tomorrow are to stay under 500 calories, drink 64 oz of water and tea, burn 100 calories on the treadmill, and to resist all bad foods that might tempt me at my cousins house.

I can't get out of one thing tomorrow though. My cousin and I are going to the thai restaraunt I've talked about previously. I'll order ice water and duck noodle soup. I won't eat the duck in it and I will definately skip getting frozen yogurt. The problem is that I'm not 100% sure of the calorie count in the soup. I think it's around 300 calories and 3 grams of fat if I don't eat the duck and only have a little bit of broth. It's not TOO bad, but I am sort of bending the rules of the 20 lb Weight Reversal Challenge. I'm only supposwed to have fruit, veggies, and 1 frozen  yogurt a day... There isn't anything I can do to get out of it though. My cousin has been asking to go with me there for 2 weeks and I have been ignoring him.........

Wish me luck.

~Raven

Oh no...

I broke my fast after 50 hours and 11 minutes and forced myself to not check my weight after. I went out to eat and had maybe 150 calories(veggies, 1 oz of salmon, and 3 small bites of salad.) I didn't binge, but I am freaking out a lot now. My mother commented on me not eating a lot when we went out and I can tell she's catching on. The only good thing is that she recently got a job. This means she can't watch what I eat, or don't eat all day. I think she'll watch me some what while she's here, so I came up with a diet that will help me lose weight fast and make sure that if she confronts me I can tell her everything I've eaten. I'll eat fruits and veggies all day with ice water and ice tea and once a day go to Yogurt Time. It's a fat free low carb frozen yogurt shop. I'll get their smallest size and either get it plain, or with fruit on top. This will satisfy me and should satisfy my mother. This will be easy.
I need to use my treadmill more though. I'm thinking I can burn 80+ calories each day on it to start and then once I get better at it 200+, and then 400+. I am not by any means a fit person and that's why I'm starting off really slow. Even if I don't use the treadmill, I burn 1,700+ calories each day just by doing nothing, but if I want to lose weight fast, then I have to try hard.

Sadly I have my TOM, time of the month to those who don't know. I feel more fat than usual with it.... I hope it goes away soon!

I'm not sure how much I weigh right now, but I was 280lbs. With this 500 calories or less of fruit, veggies, frozen yogurt, water, ice tea, burning 80+ calories each day on the treadmill, and taking my green tea fat burner diet pills, I should lose weight quickly, at least a pound per day.

My goal is to lose 20lbs in 1 week. If I have a big goal like that, then I will not be able to mess up. I haven't been 260 pounds in a few months. I'll let you all know how it goes.

~Raven

Calories	80	Sodium	85 mg
Total Fat	0 g	Potassium	0 mg
Saturated	0 g	Total Carbs	18 g
Polyunsaturated	0 g	Dietary Fiber	3 g
Monounsaturated	0 g	Sugars	6 g
Trans	0 g	Protein	4 g
Cholesterol	5 mg

420 calories is a lot of vegetables and fruit.

Day 2

Yay, I was able to get out of not going to the Thai place. :)

40 hours fasting so far at 1pm 7-2-11

The first day was easy, but now I'm hungry and didn't sleep at all last night...I read not sleeping at least 6 hours each night increases hunger and slows your metabolic rate... I'm gonna go get some ice tea and tough it out, maybe watch Kate's Secret, or A Secret Between Friends again. I've seen A Secret Between Friends 30ish times. Yes I know everyones lines. Lol.

On a sadder note, today would have been our 3 month anniversary...

~Raven

Day 1

I was successful with not eating today, I burned 500 calories on my treadmill, and I drank more than 8 glasses of water.

Water-0 calories
Tea-0 calories
Slim Quick-0 calories
Pills-0 calories

I've been fasting for 24 hours and 19 minutes now and hope I fast for a long time. I didn't weigh myself today and don't plan on it until I start eating again, that way when I see how much I've lost, it will be a suprise. Not weighing in is going to be one of the hardest things ever and I hope I can not do it. Tomorrow, I am going to a Thai restaraunt with my father and cousin and I usually get rice and beef or duck noodle soup. Since I'm fasting and all, I am getting ice water, no rice, and maybe beef or duck noodle soup. I can get it and just have a little bit of the broth. I might tell my cousin I'm fasting and give him my soup, but who knows. This is going to be a huge temptation and I need to stay focused. If I end up eating anything while I'm there, I will force myself to burn 1,000 calories on my treadmill, which is more than I've ever burned at one time on it. I need to succeed at this, so that when I go back to school on August 17th, my ex sees that I've lost weight.

I didn't eat today, and I'm not gonna eat tomorrow.

~Raven

Months Later...

I had started dating a good looking guy that I had been crushing on for months and felt loved and accepted immediately. THAT was my downfall. I trusted him. I thought he felt love for me as I did for him and we seemed to have everything in common. We were together almost 3 months and I gained some weight while I was with him, but I was happy. I was only weighing myself maybe once a week and hadn't really been watching what I ate. I thought that if he accepted me enough at 257lbs to go out with me, then he wouldn't mind if I gained a tiny bit. I told him everything, even about my anorexic past, the cutting I used to and still do sometimes, and anything else you can imagine. I told him my highest weight and how much I weighed. He said that he was proud of me for losing weight, but that he didn't support me losing weight the "ana" way. I didn't realize it, but on almost all our dates, we ate bad food and we didn't do anything like walk together. I didn't weigh myself for about a month, but my pants felt really tight and I could barely button them, so I decided to weigh in. I was 277lbs! I called him on the phone crying and he said to meet him at the park close to his house so we could "talk". When I got there, he was already there and I ran to him and hugged him and he hugged me back and told me to tell him what was wrong. I told him my weight and how horrible and gross I felt. You know what he said? "You should feel horrible and you are gross!" I backed up and looked at him wide eyed and he started laughing. One of his friends that I didn't know well came from behind a tree with a video camera. He had taped the whole thing and was laughing with my boyfriend. I didn't know what to say, except "What is this?!?!" When he told me that he never loved or even liked me and that he was dared to ask me out I felt more tears stream down my face and my chest fell. His plan had been to make me gain even more weight and to make me feel horrible. He is a monster and I hate him and I can't believe I fell for it... I ran home crying the whole time. I locked myself in my room and my mother tried to get me to open my door, but I didn't. How could I tell her what happened? This whole thing happened 2 days ago and I have only left my room to use the restroom and eat. I ate a lot and gained 3lbs. I'm 280lbs now. I refuse to gain anymore weight, I will never be over 280lbs and I will never go back to my highest weight. 5 and a half hours ago at 9pm June 30th, I started a fast. I don't know how long it will last, but I will try my best to get down to where I was when I first started dating him. 257lbs. 23lbs is what I need to lose as fast as possible. After that, who knows? Maybe I'll fast for a long time, or become ana again. I'm scared as much as I hate to admit it. Ana ruined my life for years and it was so horrible gaining all this weight, but I was my happiest when I was ana and I am my happiest when I see the number on the scale go down. Even if I only lose .2lbs, I feel good knowing that I'm thinner than I was. I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to look sexy, and I'm going to be happy. I want my ex boyfriend to see what he's missing. I want him to wish he would have never done that horrible thing to me. I want him to feel as horrible as I did and still do.

I will do this!

I want to be thinner tomorrow than I was today.

~Raven