Basically I'm fat. I was diagnosed as anorexic years ago, only to be forced into recovery. I was told and made to push back the little voice in my head telling me I'm fat and to not eat. The problem is that I kept pushing it back and kept eating and eating and not exercising and not exercising some more. I'm now Obese, the one thing I told myself I'd never become. I was morbidly obese 1 month ago, but began doing something about it. I was 291 pounds! If I were ever 300 pounds, I would kill myself. I'm now 280 pounds, which is still a lot. I only lost 11 pounds in 1 month. :( That is why I'm beginning Ana Boot Camp/ABC tomorrow. I remember losing 26 pounds on it when I was anorexic, landing me in hospital, but since I'm a fat cow, I'm sure I won't be in hospital this time and I will most likely lose more than that. I can do this, I need to do this. I can't be fat anymore. I want to be Ana again. I wish to be Ana again! I will be Ana again! My goal is to lose 40 pounds by the end of the ABC. Then I would be where I was 6 months ago at 240 pounds. Can't wait for tomorrow. These are pics of me I took a few minutes ago. Gross I know.
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